There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
