$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
