He asked to "fluff my boner.."
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
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It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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