You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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