fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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