you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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