You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
