the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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