we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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