I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
