I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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