Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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