I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
