Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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