oh god the rape fog is back!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
