Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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