i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
