sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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