So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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