Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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