my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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