I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
