I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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