what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
