i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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