You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
