my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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