actually, I'm a sock model
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
