i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize