But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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