I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Randomize
