Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
