i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
