the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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