VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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