Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
