Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
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