Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
