i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
