Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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