YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
