shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
