i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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