The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Never underestimate the power of titties
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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