How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
