Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
