Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
