Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
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This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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