the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
