Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
