All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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