who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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