I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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