My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
