i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
