Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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