I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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