I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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